Sickipedia

Simon Western is bringing out his own George Foreman type grill. It's so good, he even put his face on it

I'm looking for some musical acts for an album I'm recording. It's in Aid of people with various disabilities. The Album is called Quadriplegia and so far I've secured the services of...Pink Flid, Deaf Blind and Fire, Spastic Bertrand, Stealers Wheelchair and Bifida Clyro. It'll be produced by Phil Spectrum.

I was on the phone to a young woman today, and on the other end, all I could hear was, ummm, aaah, errr, groaning and slurping and this carried on for four hours. And I'd only got to page three of Rosie Jones' PIP assessment.

Quasimodo ends up having surgery to remove the hump on his back . When they open the hump up they find an apple a packet of cheese and onion crisps a tuna salad sandwich and a kit kat .. It was the lunchpack of Notre-dame

As chairman of the blind society, I've been accused of needlessly wasting money. So I've arranged a fireworks display to cheer everyone up!

FUNNIMAN YOU SHOULD BE INVESTIGATED BY THE TRADES DESCRIPTION PEOPLE THE MOST UNFUNNIMAN ON SICKIPEDIA SOMEONE WAKE A WEE MONG UP WIPE ITS CHIN AND GETS THIS POST BURIED DONT FORGET TO EMPTY YOUR SHIT BAG

Fe Fi Fo Fum....Chris Eubank's phone number.

What's hairy & has 10 fingers? A thalidomide's armpits

Breaking News — Invictus Games: Canada’s basketball team have been disqualified after testing positive for WD40.

"Why doesn’t Simon Weston take selfies?" "er, well because of his disfigurement probably." "No, he hasn’t got a camera."