Sickipedia

The Sound of Music now coming with trigger warnings.... "A healthy prosperous white family with many kids all singing and dancing and having fun.... of course we can't have people seeing THAT !"

Thank fuck there's 25 hours on Sunday instead of 24. Gives my blonde girlfriend the chance to finally crack a Wordle,

Missguided shoppers will not get refunds for returns. I guess you could say their purchases were erroneous, fallacious, unwarranted, unfounded, unsound, misplaced, misconceived, ill-advised, inadvisable, ill-considered, ill-judged, inappropriate, unwise, injudicious, imprudent, rash, foolish, misinformed, misled, misdirected, wrong, mistaken or deluded.

I asked my blonde daughter why she was sniffing artificial sweetener. She thought it was diet coke. Credit: Some cunt with nothing better to do

My blonde daughter fell in love with a brickie just to get laid

I was running past a petrol station and told a blonde you can get around a thousand miles out of a pair of trainers. Was funny as fuck watching her taking her trainers off and trying to put them in her Fiat 500.

The girl next door told me that her car wasn't going right and was ". . . all rattly . . ." so could I look it for her, I found the problem straight away and told her that the dipstick was bone dry which meant that it wasn't reaching the oil in the sump, 'dizzy fucking blonde' I thought. Anyway, it turns out that her twin brother is a trainee engineer and he's sorted it out. He's welded an extra inch onto the dipstick so it reaches the oil!

I knocked on the door to attend a heating breakdown and a barely dressed blonde answered the door, massive tits dropping out of her unfastened negligee and the shaped of her neatly trimmed bush gaping for me to see, "Is your husband in miss? " I asked, "What do you think? will I not do?" She answered, "Err, no, not really, I need the car reversing out of your drive so I can get my van in. " I replied.

Blonde gets home to her husband, "Honey, you'll be so proud of me, I got a great deal on an electric car, it does over fifty miles to the gallon. "

That’s the last time I get my blonde girlfriend to order emergency supplies. We’ve just received a parcel full of records by Lou Rawls.