Sickipedia

"Oh dear, " laughed my wife as she opened a letter, "my cunt has cancer, ". Jesus, " I said, "how can you laugh? I didn't even know you'd been for a scan. " "Oh no, " she answered, "not me, I've opened your test results from the doctor. "

What’s the difference between me and cancer? Dad didn’t beat cancer

I started a foundation for children with cancer. I called it Shave The Chilldren.

I'm a bit concerned about our GP. He gave my daughter a prostate exam yesterday, I mean she's a bit young for that.

I was sorry to hear that Val Kilmer, my favourite actor, has died. Really brought a lump to my throat.

I asked my wife in the car on the way to Tesco whether she'd remembered her Bag For Life, and she just glared at me. She's so easy to wind up since the colostomy.

Reckon Sleepy Joe will return to the White House in 2028? Nah. He'll be dead Biden.

"Nurse shares 7 biggest regrets cancer patients have" Without reading the article I'm guessing it's: - Smoking - Drinking - Being a fat fuck - Never eating fruit - Working down the asbestos mine - Not paying for health insurance - Being a cunt so nobody wants to chip in to your fundraiser for treatment

My wife's finally got something that's going to help her lose weight. Cancer.

I went to the doctor's and he said 'sorry to have to tell you but you've got terminal cancer'. 'How long have I got left to live'? I asked him. 'Well put it this way' he said, you've got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana skin'.