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Death

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9 days ago

Thought this was a site to post jokes not to use it to bitch like women?

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If you've had you're cock stuck in milk bottle for nearly 2 days is it OK to smash it? Asking for a friend.

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While I was in bed I started fantasising about an idealised sexual encounter with my imaginary girlfriend, murmuring her name in my dreams. Then my wife, Michelle, woke me up and angrily demanded, "And who the hell is Lisa!?"

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The baby who was pictured on the nirvana nevermind album, who is suing for sexual exploitation has got a point...I've wanked off over that album cover loads of times

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my mate told me that he and his wife had sex on a golf course earlier. "Oh yeah?" I laughed. "What hole?" He said, "The vagina."

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My dad told me never to go to a cheap, sleazy, raunchy strip club because ‘you’ll see something you shouldn’t’. I went anyway and indeed saw something I shouldn’t – my dad !!!

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On Tinder she described herself as 5 ft 3 blue eyes, slim body and blonde hair. Met up and fucked her on the first date! Had to do her doggy style though as the 3 eyes were a bit off-putting.

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Gwyneth Paltrow's company is being sued after man claims that her 'vagina' scented candle exploded on him. To be fair, he probably shouldn't have been fucking it

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One day superman was flying around the city skyscraper to skyscraper, untill he suddenly saw a completely naked women on a building opposite him full leg spread , he thought to himself "damn I want some of that , what if I quickly go give her one and then quickly shoot of so she won't notice so, he does , he goes back to the other skyscraper and sees another supper hero on top of her all of a sudden , the supper here was called invisible Man

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How do you get a vinegar bottle out of your arse without going to hospital? Asking for a friend

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