Sickipedia

When I was young my dad was always knocking things up in the garage. The neighbour's wife, the babysitter, my sister's friends...

I don't know who Jolene is but if her tits are bigger than Dolly Parton's I say she deserves the win.

You're not cheating on her if she isn't giving you any.

Pretty sure Coldplay won't be able to fix you Andy Byron.

After being married for 10 years and having sex with the same woman 3 times a week, I've decided I want some variety. So, tomorrow I'm going to tell her sister that I'm going to try fucking my wife again.

During World War 2 my grandfather flew a Spitfire against the Germans. and while he was doing that my grandma got spitroasted by the Americans.

Women are like teabags. Once used they lose all their flavour and expand to a useless mess that need throwing away.

I've found out that my wife of 30 years has been cheating on me. When I confronted her about it, she admitted everything, even confessing that her new man took her to Pound Town at the weekend. Well I've just looked on Google Maps and that place doesn't even exist.

I got a call from the school about an extremely violent picture my son drew of a gorilla raping a pink elephant. He explained when I was there, "This is just what happens after daddy goes to work and mummy's boyfriend Denzel comes to visit."

I overheard the wife on the phone telling one of her girlfriends she wanted cocaine and a fisting for Valentine's. She didn't move during and was fucked off afterwards. I asked what was wrong and she said she wanted something else. "What?" I said. She replied, "My Valentine to do it."