Sickipedia

I couldn't believe it when we opened the door to find some of the Arabs that live locally had come by to sing us "Muslim Christmas Carols." I asked what they were doing and they said they were making a funny Vlog-reaction video... still though, I wasn't too sure about the songs: Violent Night, Succumb all ye Unfaithful, O' Grooming town of Rotherham, The Little Bomber Boy, While Shepards bummed their flocks, Grandma got run over by a Camel, I Wish it could be Eid-al-Fitr Every Day, and We Wish You were Dead this Christmas.

So offended was I by Boris Johnson's ignorant comments about the Burka, I decided to write him a strongly worded letter But when I tried to post it, the letterbox screamed at me.

I put my game on with the Moroccan woman at work that look like the actress Sofia Essaidi, and she gave me a nice look but then shyly said "Not Haram... you giaour, and I faithful Muslim woman !" "Really ?" I said, "Never saw this matter that much when it's all the swarthy smelly men of your breed plowing all the fat white chicks here somehow trying to get a marriage with benefits."

So there I was in Saudi Arabia holding hands with my mate Dave. No idea who they belonged to but we found them by the bins.

After the recent shooting in the USA, they say it's "finally time for a serious conversation about gun control." "I say more it's time for a serious fucking conversatoin about not letting in Arab immigrants, like the one that did the shooting."

What's does a Saudi woman reading a book and a horse have in common? They're both hung

My wife complained that our red and white tablecloth had somehow been stolen off of the line. "Maybe the Muslims next door decided they needed a new hat ?"

I think it's unfair to accuse the Saudis of "sports-washing" by hosting the 2034 World Cup Who the hell over there has ever had a wash ??

My Iraqi neighbour has quite a fecal stench like I've never smelled before. It's really quite ironic as he was a member of the Baath party.

An Arab & a Scouser had a baby boy together. They agreed on the name Raid.