Sickipedia

Rule number one after purchasing a parrot ' teach it to say ' help they have turned me into a parrot

Boris Johnson gives his father Stanley BEAVERS as an 80th birthday present.....like Father like son....cunt crazy!

Hi Markrees my BFF Hope you are well sonny jim as for myself..ive only just woken up with green breakfast dust in my eyes..yum yum..i was very busy working all of night..as you know im a very busy man on wedensday...Anyway this site as lost its sense of culture...So as the poet laurette...Well here goes... Lucy Worsley had a little lamb And she called Dyer Danny Lucy wore a skimpy cheerleaders skirt And flashed her fucked in fanny PHOOAR

True story. So was out with collegues, last sunday, at the Tullyglass hotel near Ballymena when our morbidly obese fat cunt of a supervisor went up to the carvery and came down with a loaded plate that you needed to see to believe. He sat down and huffed "Fuck sake I forgot to get gravy". At that point the waitress was taking our drinks order an asked what he would like. I quip " A pint of gravy for him please". The poor girl nearly wet herself laughing, as did everyone else at the table, except poor fatso who went a new shade of red. Guess who wont be getn any overtime for a while...

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side .

Dad who lost his penis to horrific blood infection becomes first man in the world to have a new one built on his arm.....needless to say I won’t be goingbto the pub with him anytime soon!🤪

A Queenslander is drinking in a West Australian Pub when he gets a call on his mobile phone and as he listens to the call he starts grinning from ear to ear, then when he disconnects he shouts to the barman that he wants to buy everyone in the bar a drink. The barman starts serving the drinks and the people start to crowd around keen to know what they are celebrating. "Well," he announces, "My wife's just produced a typical Queensland baby boy weighing 25 pounds". Nobody can believe that any baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Queenslander just shrugs, "That's about average in Queensland . Like I said, my boy is a typical Queensland boy." Congratulations showered him from all around and many exclamations of "STREWTH" and "BLOODY HELL!" were heard. One woman even fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later the Queenslander returns to the same bar. The barman says "You're the father of that typical Queensland baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth aren't you? Everybody's been having bets about how big he'd be in 2 weeks, we were going to call you. So - how much does he weigh now?" The proud father answers: "17 pounds." The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What happened? He weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!" The Queensland father takes a long s-l-o-w swig from his XXXX Gold beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans onto the bar and proudly says, "We had him circumcised!"

“I was in Kashmir last weekend. Went to visit one of my sweaters.”

I was reminiscing with my brothers about the times our Dad would roll us down the street in car tyres. They were Good Years.

serena williams done well to push a baby out of her dick