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Arnold Palmer

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one year ago

Ricky Hatton on the ropes for the last time

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Madeleine McCann has been found dead. By me, hanging from a noose in my basement.

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Ricky Hatton has hung up his gloves. And he didn't stop there.

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It’s World Suicide Prevention Day, to show support let’s all hang out together.

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Jay, Blades? thanks. *slash slash*

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My homosexual son stormed in a huff - "You're 70 years behind the times and completely homophobic !.... I wish I could just suicide myself and completely remove myself from your world !" "Huh... we both wish for the exact same thing."

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I never answer my phone unless I recognise the caller. The supervisor thinks I may not be cut out to man the Samaritans help line.

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Assisted dying bill now goes to the Lords. It'll be like Turkeys voting for Christmas.

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The Samaritans said to my obese wife - "Suicide is never the answer !" I thought, "I wish they would stop contradicting me," as I pointed out to my wife the high rafters.

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