Sickipedia

I sent my mate a photo of my girlfriend laying naked on my bed. "Feel like popping round and giving me a hand with this?" I texted. "Fucking hell mate!!!" he texted back immediately. "Too right I do, I'll be there in five minutes." That's a relief, because I don't think I could carry her body out to the car alone.

Donald Trump visit is an 'opportunity' for Scotland, insists First Minister John Swinney. Too fuckin' right it is, ken? Noo wherr's ma fuckin' chib?

We've had the undercard, Robinson v Kirk. Anyone know who Trump's up against in the main event?

They say that one out of every four people has the potential to be a serial killer. So I killed three of my close friends. I should be safe now.

Fred West. Horrible person. But in fairness a bloody good builder. 5* reviews on Checkatrade.com. Just saying.

Ice cream man killed after he is stabbed eight times in front of his van. Did 'e scream?

Now assisted dying is legalised I'll be able to put an end to my mother in laws life from that awful disgusting thing she's got. Her face.

I was writing a George Floyd biopic but I gave up.... I couldn't get it off the ground

"If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life." Ted Bundy, 1989

If you are what you eat, does this mean Ted Bundy is more human than the rest of us?