Sickipedia

"Phrases you may hear at the dinner table or in the bedroom" I like my mums better.

I broke my New Years Resolution today and wanked in my daughters face cream again

My girlfriend has the same name as my mum, which is quite handy when we're fucking. I don't have to worry about accidently calling out my girlfriend's name.

My daughter insists she wants her pregnancy terminated, but I'm fighting her all the way. No baby of mine is going to be aborted.

Condom ads during family time is so awkward Nearly ruined our orgy

When I was at school, a kid said to me "my dad's bigger than your dad" I thought to myself "that's weird, when has he seen both our dad's with a hard on?"

I am so upset that my 14 year old daughter is pregnant. Her entire life and career is ruined at such a young age. My life and financial stability are also going to be ruined, especially since I'm going to be the father.

I'm making sure sure my 8 year old daughter is fit when she's older I've just started giving her 5 a day

Someone got offended by my constant jokes about banging their mom. "Can you stop with the mom fucking jokes. They're awkward and weird." "Your mom never tells me to stop with the fucking." Sorry, you're not getting any special treatment just because you're my brother.

"I'd like you to say hello to my wife and sister" said my Norfolk friend "But there's only one woman standing there... Oh"