Sickipedia

I reckon another week’s hair growth and I’ll be able to wear my AirPods without people knowing I’m a cunt.

Hello Fellow Sickipedians, it is with great sadness that we are announcing the closure of Sickipedia.net on the 4th December 2025. The site has become too costly to run, and without the support of regular users—and a lack of traffic—it has become a financial burden. We understand some of you will be upset with this decision, but just try to enjoy the few days that are left. We have enjoyed reading all of your creative Jokes and memes over the years, so we are sad at the decision. Feel free to email us any of your concerns. Take care, the Sickipedia team.

I’ve just bought the new iPhone and found this message inside the box: Congratulations on buying your new Apple iPhone. We’ve re-invented beauty, elegance, and performance. But in a few weeks we’ll be bringing out a new model which we’ll be claiming as better in every respect and thus, by implication, re-defining yours as shit.

Airpods 2 - Apple's true-wireless earphones. Commonly found attached to Airheads

This new site is the best. I can still troll like fuck and use my vpn, light up farts and bully newcomer posters Ps I NEED TO DO MY NUMBER 2s

New Apple Watch will prompt owners to wash their hands properly for at least 20 seconds to help prevent the spread of illness. It also detects a sock and calls you a murderer.

The birds are tweeting outside. The little fuckers nicked the phone off my patio table.

News: Woman allergic to apples removed from plane. Fuck me, what exactly is in an iPhone?

“Siri” “Yes boss” “Check my bank balance to see which Apple products I can buy” “I need to use your password boss, please change it” “Use the password Siri” “Please change your password boss” “No, what is my password” Siri mutters almost inaudibly “Louder please Siri” “Cunt” “Correct Siri, now do as I ask” “OK boss, I’ve checked” “I’m waiting Siri, what can I afford to buy from Apple” “Apple juice boss” “You cunt”

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, why don't Daleks hide in orchards?