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4 months ago

I watched a fireworks display on the TV with the family last night. I probably should have lit them outside but you should have seen their faces light up.

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I hate bonfire night, all these fireworks have been scaring the shit out of our dogs. It's taken the wife 45 minutes to get their cocks hard, and another 20 to get them to cum.

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I like to tell my wife, "Let’s make our fireworks," Then hand her a bunch of toilet paper rolls and gunpowder...

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As chairman of the Blind Society, I was accused of needlessly wasting money. So I arranged a big fireworks display to cheer everyone up.

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Roses are blue Violets are brown The sky is purple And so is the ground Credit to blind chap on the bus

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Looks like Gaza are still having bonfires.

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I was unfairly sacked from my job as a fireworks coordinator today. It was bang out of order.

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Can everyone keep their dogs quiet tonight so I can hear my fireworks? Thanks

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My neighbour said she dreads this time of year because her dogs are scared of fireworks. "Simple," I told her, " Don't let them play with any then."

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My Palestinian neighbours will feel right at home with the fireworks going off on Bonfire night.

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