Sickipedia

HERES A LETTER I READ EARLIER.. There's a lot of fuss made about smoking during pregnancy. Take my mum for example. She smoked forty a day when she was having me and I've turned out fine apart from my penis being a bit small. All the best. Sue.

My wife finally announced today that she's going to be leaving me for the smelly dodgy Indian guy that works at the corner store. I'm not at all bothered, but at the same time I also have no idea what she sees in Baldeep.

The girls around town call me 'The Terminator'. I'm not muscular or tough, but I have an oozey nine-millimetre.

There's a rumour that surgeons in the US have performed the first ever penis & scrotum transplant on an injured army veteran. Sounds like a cock & balls story to me!

I just got kicked off the bus for doing my stretching exercises. What these people don't appreciate is that a tight foreskin is no fucking joke.

If I ever found a sleeping vampire I wouldn't stake him through the heart. I would draw a big cock and balls on his forehead in permanent marker .. He'd never find out , he can't see his reflection in the mirror.

A bloke has just got out of a time machine and forced me to suck his cock, I felt degraded and humiliated. When I get older I am going to build a time machine, go back in time, find this twat as a kid, and force him to suck my cock.

That moment when you slide the condom on and look at yourself in the mirror with a raging hardon. Then you tell the chemist “I’ll take it”

I hate using condoms as they just take the natural feeling away. I can't feel it rubbing against the skin of my hand.

Overheard the wife talking about me to her mates the other night. Bragging about how well endowed I am, well actually I only caught the end of the conversation when she said "he's a massive dick"