Sickipedia

For fuck sake, I used to love the old site, but all we get on here is people bitching about stealing jokes off of each other. Top comedians have been doing this for years. lets just enjoy them P.s why did the baker have brown fingers? because he kneaded a poo

Rember kids, if you don't go to school then you won't get a job when you're older. Just look at Greta Thunberg.

2020 was a very slow year for my sex-life Things have picked up again though now that I'm back to in-person teaching.

I fucking hate my job, quality control at the strobe-light factory. I'm busy working like a cunt, and everyone else is just fucking standing still.

I had to go on a sexism awareness course in work. The girl delivering it had great tits.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She choose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner." After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." "Okay," I nervously replied as I thought about why I'm here on my birthday and decided to make myself at home. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake. Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy birthday". And I just sat there... Naked... With a condom on... On the couch... Sobbing...

Some people see images of our lord and saviour in their toast. Some see him in the clouds. Now it seems to be in toilets. Every time I have a shit at work I always hear the person who goes into the cubicle after me say, "Jesus Christ".

Since when has it been illegal to walk about in the back garden in just underware ?................. OK OK I'll admit it wasn't my underwear or my back garden but come on give me a break

As a banker, I get plenty of sex. The moment a woman walks into my office, she's going to get fucked.

It's my first day on my new job at McDonald's. It's hard. I'm still learning the gropes at the moment.