Sickipedia

That time my Dad took me fishing as a boy: 'Got him! Quick, son, get the priest!' 'Fucking hell Dad, I'm not sure fish even have souls.'

My Muslim neighbour and I respect each other's culture. Every morning, he says: As salamu Alaikum. I reply: Is it, is it wicked!.

Thought I was sorted with a package holiday to Thailand, that had drugs included in the price. In retrospect, 2 weeks silent Medication was too good to be true.

Who the fuck's this 'Meta Al' bloke on Facebook? I don't remember getting a friend request from him.

My learned friend asked if I'd read Epicurus. I proceeded to list the ingredients of Greek piccalilli.

At the bottom of the page on a porn pic site it stated in a box, 'Load More Photos'. I clicked on it and two extra appeared. Pfft...hardly a load more, is it?

I was gutted to hear about Ricky Hatton I thought he'd found a new path after playing Shirley in Eastenders

Virginia Giuffre's family say Mandelson should never have been ambassador to the US. I say South Africa should never have let the black cunt out of prison in 1990.

Women Against Stalking have opened an account on Twitter. Give them a follow.

Getting a little bit sick of these repetitive, unskippable 50+ second YouTube ads. Buy this new butt plug…blah blah blah…stick this life like, real cock feel dildo up your arse…join Grindr over and over… Sign up for arse ticklers faggots fan club. Fucking Perverts.