Sickipedia

I've just broken the british record for holding your breath underwater - 8 minutes 42 seconds. It all started when a little girl in the swimming pool shouted "That's him, Daddy, over there!"

The only advantage to being on the Sex Offenders Register is, I no longer get children knocking on my door at this time of year demanding sweets and money

I’m part of the ‘Magic circle’... Basically, I’m friends with the Royal family and rape kids and somehow magically get away with it.

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? ....Cliff. What do call a man with a seagull on his head that fiddles with kids? ... Cliff Richard

Butler: "It's 9-11 today Sir" Prince Andrew: "Fabulous. Show them in"

I’m not prudish, but I don’t like hearing swear words during sex. I mean who wants to hear that bad language from a child?

Oh, the grand old Duke of York, He had some pedo friends; They marched to Epstein's with young girls, Who were never seen again. When they were drugged, they were fucked, And when they came down, they were drowned, And when they with his Eton chums, Well the dossier wasn't found.

When in Rome , do as the Romans do. When in Rotherham , don't do as the Pakis do.

Why did Michael Jackson invent the Moonwalk? It was a great way to get out of kids' bedrooms unheard.

Prince Andrew fighting foreign seamen 1982 in the Falklands. Prince Andrew fighting off foreign semen 2022 in US prison