Sickipedia

Apparently domestos kills 99% of all known germs. What a load of shite...I've just taken some for my cold and if anything I feel fuckin worse!

What have the corona virus pandemic and the Hillsborough disaster got in common? People are making a big thing out of it and not that many people died (oh and the police are in on it)

I heard the outbreak of this latest virus started in a chinese live food market in wuhan Apparently they eat Bamboo rats, scorpions, wolf cubs, 100 year old eggs, snakes, spiders, there was even koala meat on sale?. Fucking disgusting they will eat anything that lot .... Completely put me off my sweet and sour bat .

The government has warned that critically ill people will need ventilation and has put out a plea to manufacturers to help remedy the shortage. I though "shit I've got no ventilation in my bathroom either" so I knocked a hole in the wall and some cunt nicked my bog roll.

Roses are red I've got Corona I'll give it to you Along with my boner

The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene, but that everyone walks around like their hatching a dastardly plan.

It’s with great sadness I have to inform all my family and friends that in the early hours of this morning my muched loved turkey has passed away. Due to the coronavirus situation the funeral will be at mine around 12.30 /1pm on the 25th December . As we have a limit of 30 at present including the turkey so please let me know ASAP. Obviously Covid-19 restrictions will apply. No flowers please if you would like to make a contribution things like potatoes,carrots,green veg and aunt bessie’s Yorkshire puddings will do. Please note starters and puddings are already sorted

Boris johnson to announce a 10pm curfew to stop the spread of coronavirus! Am I missing i something here? Does the virus only come out at night now?

I cleaned my mask with rubbing alcohol and I’m pretty sure there was a 10 min window where I shouldn’t have legally been driving

Clocks go forward next week . Hopefully at least 6 months.