Sickipedia

My American workmates aren't talking to me for some reason. We were talking to eachother about cars and all I said was "I can't wait for the new 911"

I've opened a restaurant for the sole use of Native Americans. You can't get a table unless you have a reservation.

Apparently the American version of Cluedo was abandoned , when it was determined the weapon was always a gun.

An American boy is sitting in a school library assiduously studying Hebrew when he starts getting mocked by his peers. When they ask why he needs to do this, he responds, "When I go to Heaven, I can speak with Moses and Abraham in their own language." "What if you's goes to Hell ?" "I already talk American."

10 killed in mass shooting in the city of Graz. Anyone know which state that's in?

Donald Trump signs executive order to dismantle the US Department of Education. That's fucking shocking! The Yanks had a Department of Education?

There a subtle differences and nuances between American English and British English :- American English "I want the killing to stop in Ukraine" Converted to British English "I want to divi up Ukraine with Putin. He can have the land and I will have the mineral rights"

An American head teacher has complained because a mosque and a church have been built opposite the school. "The children will find it very confusing," he said. "They won't know which one to shoot up first."

Hooters bankruptcy deals heavy blow to America's creepy, middle-aged weirdos.

"Mexico sends firefighters to help tackle blazes in California" Probably because they want their land back?