Sickipedia

I met this sexy girl in a club last week and told her she reminded me of my little toe... Why because I am small and cute? she replied No I said cause I am gonna bang you on my coffee table later!

They say the pain during child birth is so great. A woman can almost imagine what a man with man flu feels like.

Depression is a mental illness, just like schizophrenia. It is not a reaction to something outside of yourself, but the product of a brain that isn't functioning properly. So no, Katy Perry, you were not depressed when your manufactured lowest common denominator crap didn't sell, you are just an attention seeking self pitying woman who didn't get what you thought you were entitled to.

I think it's great that so many women have tattoos these days. It used to take so much longer to find out if they're a complete fucking trainwreck or not.

Is it "milfs" or "milves"?

Don't send dick pics, girls aren't interested, even if it's huge. Send a picture of your bank statement - they care much more about the size of that.

Dad's not been the same since Mum died. He's been living it up in Thailand while that cheating whore burns in hell.

You can tell a lot about a man by the amount of respect he has for Women or Spunk Receptacles as I call them.

I went to visit my wife in hospital and took her flowers. My girlfriend will love them.

Why do psychology degrees exist? Because psychiatry is too taxing for a woman's brain.