Sickipedia

I'm so into recycling, climate change activism and green initiatives that I... Washout my condoms to reuse and pick up dog shit with my bare hands. I'm that dedicated... I don't even have a dog or a girlfriend. Nod to HetPaard.

Coldplay's Chris Martin has fallen through a stage trapdoor during an Australian concert. I can only hope it happened during a rendition of 'Fix You'

I often read a joke and think, "What a cunt. That's not funny." Then I press 'Submit'.

If modern society has taught us anything, it's that the less a person is qualified to have an opinion The more likely she is to express it

A mate of mine believes that the Earth is flat. I challenged him to prove it by walking off the edge... He eventually came around.

Why do Germans believe in procrastinating? Because a stitch in time saves nein.

Next time politicians want a pay rise, let's all just give them a round of applause instead.

When you watch a music video on YouTube and it says: do you want to purchase this from iTunes?. It's the reverse of marital sex. You're doing it and thinking a prostitute would work out cheaper.

A bloke called me a paedo the other day... I nearly choked on the altar boys cock.

Instead of calling them flu masks, we should call them coughy filters