Sickipedia

I was working in the bank yesterday when my old teacher who always said I'd never amount to anything came in asking for a loan. I couldn't resist smiling to myself as he suddenly recognised me. I didn't say anything though, I just rinsed my mop and carried on cleaning the floor.

That's good honest journalism

Dear Lord, I don't ask you for much these days

My girlfriend found out that I was an organ trafficker. "How can you do that," she yelled. "You don't have a heart!" "I've got four actually," I replied.

Phone Aint Ringing ?

My car failed it's mot. It needs work on the suspension, brakes steering and bodywork. I said to the mechanic "do you do shocks?" he said "yeah, it will be about 3 grand to get it back on the road"

Dear recent graduates, If you used AI to get your degree, And then lost your job to a robot, That's on you.

Had to go and pick up my daughter from the police station earlier and I've never been so embarrassed in my entire life. "Jesus Sophie, what are the neighbours going to think?" "Sorry dad." "Sorry isn't going to cut it young lady. What have I said about changing out of your uniform when you finish your shift for fucks sake!"

RIP my 1990s wank fantasy

What Is Wrong With These People ?