Sickipedia

From 1952 to 1963 the British Government tested nuclear weapons in Australia. That's always puzzled me. Why go all that way when you've got Birkenhead on your doorstep?

A Liverpool pensioner has died and left all his worldly possessions to complete strangers. Although they were the original owners.

I stormed into the library today demanding to know why the book on scouse culture I'd ordered still wasn't in. "It's not our fault" said the librarian. "That's the one" I replied.

I was extremely distressed when I saw a Liverpudlian dressed as Adolf Hitler in my local supermarket at the checkout yesterday. I've never seen a Scouser pay for anything...

I don’t think the Scousers will stick to the rules of their Lockdown... Maybe it would be a good idea to put some fencing up...I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?

"I'm sorry Mr Jones, your son will grow with a persecution complex, he may well turn to crime and be and become alcohol and drug dependent and incredibly lazy. " "Oh dear doctor, is there anything at all we can do?" "Yes, move away from Liverpool. "

How did the Scouser get into University? Crowbar.

Thomas Cook have announced that over 21,000 people will lose their jobs. No scousers are affected by this.

If Hillsborough has taught us anything It's that scouse birds don't age well

At least I won't have to listen to any scousers bragging at work on Monday morning...