Sickipedia

What do you call a girl with eight fannys ? Octopussy.

"Victory for brexit Britain!" Proclaimed The Express today, regarding Unilever's choice to keep making marmite in the UK. So investors have moved another £9 million abroad this year, but it's ok cause we are keeping our marmite factory.

I hate it when people shoehorn the names of footwear items into their sentences.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're fucking brilliant at it.

Like Charles Dickens' other novels, "A Tale of Two Cities" was originally published in serial form, in this case in two local newspapers. It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.

Statistically, 9 out of 7 people are thick as shit.

My wife left me because of my obsession with cricket, it’s really hit me for 6

My wife accused me of achieving nothing so I told her, 'Well I won the Leslie Nielson award at school.' 'What's that?', she said. 'It's a big building with kids in it.'

At what point are you stupid mods going to actually ban the quintencrisp account? That unfunny cunt is forever voting his unfunny shit up, even conversing with himself on his joke, like a sad prick. 20 vote ups for his latest!! Pathetic.

Half a pound of tuppenny rice, Half an ounce of Gold blend, Lucy Worsley in a cheerleaders skirt Pop goes my bellend.