Sickipedia

Three arrests made at final Oasis gig in Edinburgh, police say. Liam, Noel and the drummer is my guess.

I sat near some Chavs on the bus home today. For the whole journey it was just 'F this' and 'F that'. Guess they had to discuss their exam results sometime.

Circus Starmer has promised 24-hour courts to deal with right-wing rioters. You don't need to do that mate. Just shut down Farmfoods, Iceland and Heron Foods for a couple of weeks and they'll all starve to death.

An ally of Vladimir Putin says Russian missiles can 'destroy British civilisation'. No need mate, Rupert Murdoch and Margaret Thatcher beat you to it years ago.

So, Jay Slater has been found right where his phone went flat. I guess it’s true then. These young people really can’t live without their phones.

I predict that in less than 10 years there will be chavs fitting fake big bore exhausts to Teslas to pimp them up.

Having access to the Internet is like having the world's biggest library in my house. And just like my local library, it's full of Chavs talking shit.

90s music magpies Oasis are in talks regarding a reunion tour. I'd hold off buying tickets, though. On the night of the first gig they'll probably fall out backstage over who gets the last can of beer, and disappear up their own arses again for another couple of decades.

So Adele wants to get knocked-up by a black man she's barely known for five minutes. Proves that you can take the girl out of the council estate. . .

I dined on frogs' legs last night. Well, I bit some Freddos in half.