Sickipedia

The inventor of the cassette tape has died at the ripe old age of C90

Cowboy gets captured by indians the Chief says he must marry 1 of his daughters Or face death. He leads the cowboy to a teepee to choose The cowboy sees 3 squaws 1 sitting on a buffalo Skin 1 sitting on a bear skin and 1 sitting on a the skin he is told of a hippopotamus ...and yes i know u pendants they only live in africa He traded it with a white game hunter happy now...the chief says he can either marry her or both the squaws on the bear skin and buffalo skin ...the cowboy aks why She is so special ..the chief says Because the squaw on the hippopotamus Is equal to the sum of the squaws on the Other two hides..

For Sale: Empty bird cage. Higher perches available.

The oil price has turned negative, as the world's drilling companies are running out of places to store the stuff. I hope no-one makes any crude jokes about this.

Old MacDonald had a really shit scrabble hand E-I-E-I-O

A giant globe fell on my son's face. He's currently in hospital with sphere injuries.

To mark his conversion to vegetarianism Meatloaf has released a new EP feat... I would do anything for lovage, Stew out of peas ain't bad and.. You took the wurst right out of my mouth.

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I'M A DOT IN PLACE THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT **** SHAKE ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

I was in a car crash earlier I ended up crashing 100 foot down a hill. You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel If you knobheads can do shite jokes so can i

People who use stupid phrases piss me off. “It is what it is...” Of fucking course it is - what else could it possibly be? “I’m just going to take things a day at a time.” Of fucking course you are - you cant consolidate your week into easier to manage chunks like you’re some kind of time lord. “You can’t have your cake and eat it” Yes I fucking can. Unless it’s carrot cake because that’s shit. Feel free to add your own.