Sickipedia

In the Geordie pub quiz, I was asked which vintage action series co-starred a character named Purdey. "The New Avengers", I replied. Turned out to be The Professionals.

What does a Geordie school girl say behind the bike sheds? Why hymen

I asked the Geordie barber for a perm. He said "I wandered lernly as a clood....."

Just been forwarded an email from a Geordie asking what comes after E in the alphabet FYI

I went to Newcastle & asked a passer-by if there was anywhere I could find some street food He punched me to the ground & said, "Are yous calling our grub quee-ah?"

My Geordie girlfriend found a pair of knickers in the glove box of the car. "What the fuck are these?" she asked. "Knickers," I replied. "Oh, I've heard about them," she replied, "but I've never seen a pair."

Sky news - Workforce the size of Newcastle needed to ease 'gridlocked' health and care system That’s easy then, there’s only about 38 people got jobs in Newcastle.

I once stood in a nightclub queue in Newcastle, in the freezing middle of winter. All I could see were boob tubes and mini skirts. That was just the local lads.

Wow I'm thinking of those Geordie fans right now... I guess £250 billion goes a long way to get over 14 years with Ashley's mismanagement and the fact the cunts have still got to live in Newcastle.

I lost concentration briefly driving along a country lane in Northumbria and put the car in a ditch. I spotted a farmer in his tractor just over the fence and asked him if he could pull me out. He said " Fuck yerself. yous were speedin. Serves yer fookin reet". I replied exasperated "Ah give me a break man. I'm in dire straits". to which he snapped back "Yer lyin bastad. Yer look fook all like the Knopfler bruvvers".