Sickipedia

NHS England used to be the single largest employer in the UK with over 1.4 million staff but another organisation has just overtaken them. It seems that the Sickipedia Admin team have got far more people than that working around the clock trying to polish a turd

French Police have released the name of their number one suspect, in the Louvre Museum robbery. Leonardo da Pinchi

Yo mama’s so ugly that when she gives me a blowjob it counts as anal.

Vas Eline I went to school with him. Nice kid. Could be a slippery fucker, though.

When I die, I want my remains to be scattered at a Reform Party Conference. But I don’t want to be cremated first.

I see that Sharon Osborne backs a call to name an airport after her late husband, Ozzy. Imagine being on a plane, about to land and the Captain announcing, "Welcome to Wanker Airport"

When James Bond is a broad it's because he's had gender surgery

I was asked how much money it would take to admit I have OCD. I said I'll only accept a tidy sum

The glove puppeteers Union is going on strike. They've just had a show of hands.

My family were horrified when I turned up to Granny's funeral wearing a Hawaii shirt and shorts. Turns out they wanted sombre dress, not summer dress. Nod to jeffstelling.