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9 days ago

What do you call someone who masturbates to Minecraft characters? Huxy, chalky or Cyberized

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Hi Markrees my bestest fuckin' pal How the fuck are you my old china. Comic relief tonight..fuck that im not interested..fuck em. I had my comic relief two nights ago mate. I had my Wedensday wank all over Katherine Ryan and it went all over her face not mine....slag..

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I bought a porn DVD today and all I could see was a dark image of some fat cunt sitting there holding his cock. Then I realised the telly wasn't on.

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Am I the only one on here who thinks that @cheryll25uk is bound to be fit as fuck, dirty as fuck and well up for it? Show us your tits Cheryll, unless you are an 18 stone, 68 year old bald headed cunt who's real name is Cyril!!!

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Bloody wife's put a lock on the internet and I can't access any porn, so I've got nothing to masturbate to except an old Bon Jovi album cover. It's a tough wank, but whoooaa oohh, I'm halfway there. . .

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Gary Lineker says his eyesight is so bad, he can't see the other Match of the day pundits without his glasses. Confirming that being one does make you go blind.

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Hi Markrees my very bestest friend Hope you are well sonny jim and guess what?... I just love Lucy Worsley For this hard on its her i thank, For the saucy little minx, Is going to get my wedensday wank. Yipee.

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Lucy Worsley, you were worthy, For the hard ons i do thank, For Maisie Smith is now seventeen, And she gets my Wedensday wank.

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For anyone who hasn't yet figured out, hannah / thedarkman / thedickman is also posting a lot as NoOne / MathsDebation as well as (probably) Slapmyshit and less often under a gazillion and one other aliases. The trademark is posting unfunny shit day and night at 5 minute intervals. Obviously not getting much jobsearch done!

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I'm not saying that the hotel I stayed in last week was sleazy, but the pages of the Gideon Bible were stuck together.

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