Sickipedia

Kier Starmer has been publicly tested for aids. It appears he did have it once but the virus couldn't survive in such a cold hostile evil environment.

The barber was cutting my hair when, out of the blue, he said, "Look, I don't want to worry you but I just found out I'm HIV positive." "It doesn't worry me at all," I replied. "It should," he said. "I'm sleeping with your wife."

I’ve been reading about the contaminated blood scandal. Last year ... Meghan Markle married into the Royal family.

Some dipstick radio presenter gloated today .."Well at least some good has come out of Gareth Thomas' illness as the Welsh H.I.V. awareness line has been inundated with calls the last two days!" Fucking idiot!! She didn't say 99% were men asking .."Has he recently shagged any sheep and if so, which fucking field were they in?"

Queen guitarist, Brian May, is in hospital following a gardening injury that left him with torn muscles in his buttocks. Just like his old friend, Freddie, who ended up in hospital with torn buttocks following an uphill gardening injury.

Elton John has announced he has HIV from his husband David who had performed ATM with Gareth Thomas. Carlsberg don't do faggot jokes but if they did.

I put a post up online saying: "I'm a mong, who's looking for a job. I have one of those faces you want to punch; I'm annoying, and my acting skills are fucking terrible. I don't think I'm even remotely hireable..." I'm on the new Maltesers advert next week.

The latest Disney Princess is going to be black. The Prince had better wear a condom or he'll get MermAIDS.

I often think that some people's humanitarian works go unrecognised; Princess Diana was idolised because she shook hands with a few AIDS victims. Denholm Elliott, Anthony Perkins, Kenny Everett, Freddie Mercury, Rock Hudson & Liberace used to let AIDS victims shag them up the arse yet how much acclaim do they get?

Devastated. I've just been told I'm DUP positive