Sickipedia

The wife said to me, "I'd like you to enjoy the rest of your life if I die first. Find a good woman who'll look after you." I replied, "Thanks. I have."

The car salesman asked if I wanted parking sensors and a reversing camera. I said the car was for me, not the wife.

I could hear my wife doing a really loud Cher impersonation in the shower this morning... I pushed the door open, and asked, "Who is that supposed to be, Cher?" She replied, "Yeah, do you like it?" I said, "It's okay, Can you do a Whitney?" "I'll give it a go.." She said smiling. I said, "Nice one, I'll run you a bath."

I'm playing strip poker with my wife and deliberately losing.

Wasp,you fake yank,the only reason your imaginary wife is fat,is because you've overinflated your under 16 sex doll.....prick for brains!

I told the wife the place was a mess and to start dusting. I didn't mean inside her knickers but I guess it's a start.

Jay Blades has split from his wife. And he runs the Repair Shop.

The wife lost two stone swimming. Not sure what happened, I tied them tight enough around her neck! Les Dawson

Me and the wife had a row over breakfast. I won. A full English will always beat a fucking yoghurt.

I'm not saying the wife's thick but her favourite website's X. Because it's the only one she can spell.