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My 15-year-old daughter just asked me if her boyfriend can sleep over tonight. "CAN HE FUCK!" I replied. She said, "Yes, really well."

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Just accidentally caught the women's rugby and saw the NZ Haka. Looked like a synchronised 'and what time do you call this' greeting....

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My wife slapped me when I tried to put a torch inside her anus. So much for her enjoying light BDSM

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my wife kept telling me i was addicted to social media like wtf but anyway shes dead now and im at her funeral rip

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Already there's a rumour that the Minneapolis mass shooter was on his period.

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Bournemouth sponsored by BJ88 Wayne Rooney's favourite

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I can’t be the only woman who has a fantasy about sitting on Postman Pat’s face.

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I used to make honey, but now I've abandoned my hives. Now I'm a bee leaver.

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I was listening to the Monkees while getting dressed, then I picked up a comb and went to the mirror. Then I saw my face.

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After the fuck, I started smoking a cigarette and said to my partner, "So how was that for you?" "Good for you, Sir" responded Madeleine McCann.

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