Sickipedia

Liverpool Mayor Joe Anderson has lost 2 brothers in the space of 6 weeks. Must be a shock, seeing as Joe looks such a picture of health...

I'm so into recycling, climate change activism and green initiatives that I... Washout my condoms to reuse and pick up dog shit with my bare hands. I'm that dedicated... I don't even have a dog or a girlfriend. Nod to HetPaard.

Coldplay's Chris Martin has fallen through a stage trapdoor during an Australian concert. I can only hope it happened during a rendition of 'Fix You'

I often read a joke and think, "What a cunt. That's not funny." Then I press 'Submit'.

If modern society has taught us anything, it's that the less a person is qualified to have an opinion The more likely she is to express it

A mate of mine believes that the Earth is flat. I challenged him to prove it by walking off the edge... He eventually came around.

Why do Germans believe in procrastinating? Because a stitch in time saves nein.

Next time politicians want a pay rise, let's all just give them a round of applause instead.

When you watch a music video on YouTube and it says: do you want to purchase this from iTunes?. It's the reverse of marital sex. You're doing it and thinking a prostitute would work out cheaper.

A bloke called me a paedo the other day... I nearly choked on the altar boys cock.