Sickipedia

I confused my Scottish GP today By telling him i had knee problems

If i could change the colour of just one of the seven dwarves i would dye happy.

A photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar hit him on the head. To be fair. The people being photographed did try to warn him

A pen doctor showed up at my flat last night. She had travelled all the way from Madrid to fix my broken Biro. “I didn’t expect you”, I said. “Nobody expects the Spanish ink physician”, she replied..

Whoever has got my voodoo doll, can you give his cock a bit of a suck, please? Thanks.

Jilly Cooper has died at the age of 88 following a fall. She fell into the arms of the Grim Reaper. His bony arms belied his strength as he cradled her like a timorous kitten. His eye sockets like unplumbed depths held her mesmerised as she felt her former life dropping away to be replaced by a hunger, a need, to be with him for all eternity. He leaned in as she arched her neck ready to receive his kiss. The kiss of Death. The kiss of Life. The only kiss that would ever matter to her again.

Jay-Z has decided to change his name in tribute to his black heritage From now on he will be known as Lay-Z

Martin Sheen American Barry Sheen British Mr Sheen polish

I'm expecting to be inundated this Valentine's Day. By which i mean... ill be IN and UNDATED.

The inventors of the brochure have sadly died R.I.P Pam Flett and her husband , Lee.