Sickipedia

Jilly Cooper has died at the age of 88 following a fall. She fell into the arms of the Grim Reaper. His bony arms belied his strength as he cradled her like a timorous kitten. His eye sockets like unplumbed depths held her mesmerised as she felt her former life dropping away to be replaced by a hunger, a need, to be with him for all eternity. He leaned in as she arched her neck ready to receive his kiss. The kiss of Death. The kiss of Life. The only kiss that would ever matter to her again.

Martin Sheen American Barry Sheen British Mr Sheen polish

Got called in to hr at work for saying I heard the new girl looked like one of the monkees And then i saw her race Credit to whoever started these. Not the best but a work in progress.

Yo mama’s so ugly that when she gives me a blowjob it counts as anal.

Not a lot of people know this. But the singer Bill Withers had a brother called Bear, who wrote telephone hold music.

The bloke who invented the speed boat has died. His funeral is tomorrow followed by a wake.

What is the country coming to? Good quality porn, probably.

I went for a job at Chanel's perfume warehouse. I was scent packing.

14 hours in A&E after getting covered in camouflage paint. And I still haven't been seen.

I finally managed to see my GP on Friday and showed him the rash on my arse. He just ignored me and carried on pushing his trolley round Sainsbury's...