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scotty

3 years ago-Crime-Speeding-Post Rating : 31

"Do you know what speed you were doing, Sir?" asked the policeman. "I do apologise Officer," I replied. "I've never used this road before, and I honestly thought it was an unrestricted zone." "No you didn't!!" my wife protested. "We only live round the corner, you said you were putting your foot down because there wouldn't be any coppers around this late!" "May I see your insurance?" the cop said grimly. "I've just renewed it," I assured him. "It'll be in the post, I'll drop a copy to the station next week." "Actually," said the wife, "you were short on cash this month and said you'd leave it til you had the money. It ran out a fortnight ago." I turned to her and snapped "will you keep your mouth shut, you stupid bitch...." "Does he always talk to you like that, Madam?" asked the copper. "No," my wife replied. "Only when he's been drinking." One of my favourite Barry Cryer originals.

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