Sickipedia

A newly qualified solicitor begins the first day of his new job,and really impresses his boss. At the end of the day,the boss calls him in his office and pours him a whisky, then says "I like you son,how about this? If you marry my daughter, I will give you a 1 million pound salary per year,a brand new Aston Martin every five years,and you can keep every penny you make on cases?"The lads ears prick up "I am tempted Sir,is your daughter pretty?" "Ermm,not really ,she's actually pig ugly,but we can't tell her,it would hurt her feelings" He then pulls out a photo,and the lad recoils in horror at the hideous apparition facing him "Look",says the Boss," 5 million a year,a new Aston Martin every six months and I'll buy you a massive apartment in Docklands if you do" The lad figures "if I put a bag over her head,a fuck might work" so he agrees. His boss is thrilled, but then says "Urm,she's also as thick as pigshit" A year later,the lad is putting up a Van Gogh in the apartment and shouts out "Get the hammer woman " She strolls back muttering "Get hammer,get hammer" He then shouts "Get nails" she strolls back muttering "Get nails,get nails" Suddenly, he whacks his thumb really hard and screams "FUCK!!: She strolls back muttering "Get bag, get bag"