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eimerkhunt

7 years ago-Sex and Shit-Piss-Post Rating : 22

I was on a train this morning, in the loo, having a shit, when a voice called out "Can I see your ticket please?" "Not right now." I replied, "I'm having a shit." "I don't believe you." Said the voice. "Slide it under the door." "No probs," I said. "The yellow bits are Sweetcorn!"

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Freshly Dug from the Graveyard

Wife finds a pair of women's panties in the laundry that aren't hers. She confronts husband: "Whose are these?!" Husband: "They're yours. I bought them for you as a surprise." Wife: "Really? Then why do they say 'Nigel's Bitch' on the waistband?" Husband: "…Because Nigel helped pick them out. Team effort."

pmmeyourtits

1 hours ago

Wife finds a pair of women's panties in the laundry that aren't hers. She confronts husband: "Whose are these?!" Husband: "They're yours. I bought them for you as a surprise." Wife: "Really? Then why do they say, 'Chad's Bitch' on the waistband?" Husband: "…Because Chad helped pick them out. Team effort."

redneon

2 hours ago

A hunter accidentally shoots himself in the genitals with his shotgun. A few hours later, while lying in a hospital bed, he’s approached by his doctor. Doctor: “The good news is, you’re going to be okay. The bad news is there’s some pretty significant buckshot damage to your penis, so I’m going to have to refer you to my sister.” Hunter: “Is she a plastic surgeon?” Doctor: “No. She plays the flute… she’ll teach you where to put your fingers so you don’t piss in your face.”

aloofloofah

3 hours ago

A teacher asks her students to discuss what their dads do for a living. Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail." Little Jack says: "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better." All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny. The teacher says: "Johnny, what does your Dad do?" Johnny says: "My Dad is dead." "I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?" "He turned blue, and shit on the carpet."

rahul

5 hours ago

What do you call a movie about vampires that has an entirely transgender cast? The Lost Boys

arabianviking

12 hours ago

Fresh Hell's Feedback (Comments)

bigbubba Made a note in my diary on the way over. It simply says "bugger"

2 days ago - View Post

gmax FFS, another infant school playground unfunny post. What is it at playtime? "Join on with my gang"

2 days ago - View Post

apemansacuntwithav Good for you….

2 days ago - View Post

zinger549 Moses called. He wants his joke back

2 days ago - View Post

risco Old,childish and typical of this shitshow!

2 days ago - View Post

mandylost They're not there to actually fight, they're there to represent the UK and NATO. Any attack on Greenland by the orange Mussolini will count as an attack on NATO.

2 days ago - View Post

Comedy Kill Count (Leaderboard)

sphinctered

Rank : 1 | Score : 46.90

rahul

Rank : 2 | Score : 38.28

johnnysins

Rank : 3 | Score : 36.70

scorpiox666

Rank : 4 | Score : 34.80

rory

Rank : 5 | Score : 32.00

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