Sickipedia

I phoned 999 to say my wife is going into labour. They said, 'Kier Starmer is a prick, but that's not an emergency

A 4th-grade teacher asks her class, "Who is a Trump fan?" The children, unsure of what a Trump fan is, all raised their hands except Little Johnny. The teacher asks why he's not a Trump fan. Little Johnny says, "Because I'm a Democrat". The teacher asks, "Why are you a Democrat?". Little Johnny says, "Because my mom is a Democrat and my dad is a Democrat, so that makes me a Democrat." The teacher says, "What if your mom is a moron and your dad is an idiot? What does that make you?. Little Johnny, with a smile, says, "That would make me a Trump fan".

As if I'm gonna buy any gems, I'm saving all my money to buy peoples farts in jars so I can sniff them and inhale them. Love the taste and smell of farts.

This stunning blonde Germanic lady started at the office a few days ago. Not sure why she got so put off when I complimented her as, "the biggest Austrian sensation since Hitler."

I met this woman at the bar last night, next morning, she asked me for a dick pick, and to make sure it's as big as possible. So I send her a picture of Kier Starmer.

Trump has 5 kids, 3 baby mamas, lives in government housing, has a mugshot, and Liberals still hate him!

Freedom of speech has not been banned in the UK. Anyone who disagrees will be arrested.

People are saying "Trump embarrassed Kier Starmer in Egypt at the peace deal". Nah, he's quite capable of embarrassing himself.

Starmer prepares to join Trump at Egypt ceasefire summit in full Chelsea kit.

I was going to go to the Halloween party dressed as a democrat but straight jacket costumes are widely considered offensive and inappropriate due to their association with the historical misuse of restraints and the stigma surrounding mental health issues