Sickipedia

It's getting so cold, the flashers in town are handing out written descriptions.

Mummy takes little Johnny to the zoo. As they pass the elephant cage, the elephant has an erection. "What's that, Mummy?" asks the child. "Nothing, Johnny, nothing," says the embarrassed mother, swiftly leading him on. A week later Johnny's dad takes him and the same happens. "What's that, Daddy?" "That, son, is the elephant's penis." "Mummy said it was nothing." "Your mother's spoilt, Son!"

One of the world's best wingsuit pilots has been killed after he dived off Table Mountain and slammed into rocks 1000 feet below at 120mph. So, not really one of the world's best.

Should be some fight for Greenland , Americans on one side , Eskimos on the other... ...and in the middle , Snowman's land !

''I never saw young women on Epstein visits, Mandelson tells BBC'' Though I bet he saw loads of young men!

You think the weather's bad here In USA, driving in ICE is fatal

I was in work today when a woman walked in with her tits hanging out! Me and my mates were shouting, "Wahay! Check out the knockers on that!" I don't think we're cut out for work in the mammography department.

I just broke up with my girlfriend, and my dad's really helped me through the break up. He said, "Just forget about her son, she's shit in bed anyway."

A Pakistani friend of mine asked if I would like to wind her baby. I thought that would be a bit harsh so I just gave it a dead leg!

Scotland are getting a World Cup bank holiday , win or lose their first match to Haiti. So I've calculated , if they win the whole thing , nobody will ever have to work again !