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Newborn Nightmares from Sickipedia's hell

happinessrefugee

5 years ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 138

A lot of people think that crop circles are caused by aliens spacecraft, but I think they are done by cereal killers.

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wasp

5 years ago-Other-Feminist-Post Rating : 126

I described my feminist daughter as, "Just imagine if Greta Thunberg somehow instantly gained 275 lbs, and also grew a wispy moustache." According to the police though, I'm making a compelete mockery of the missing-persons report.

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126

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darker

5 years ago-Total fucking shit-Knock knock-Post Rating : 125

‘Big Brother is watching you‘, a famous quote from George Orwell’s Nineteen Eight-Four. A book in which he predicted the mass surveillance of British citizens,. What he didn’t foretell was that it would be us buying the cameras and that our biggest phobia would not be rats but that nobody would be watching us !

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125

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kimjongtrump

5 years ago-Racism-Muslim-Post Rating : 113

MUSLIMS: When asked about your wife's age, answer in dog years, twenty eight doesn't sound that bad.

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113

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funboy3

5 years ago-Crime-Terrorists-Post Rating : 110

' History Teacher Decapitated in Paris ' When French Revolution practicals go wrong...

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110

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apollo17

one year ago-Politics-Conservative-Post Rating : 109

A controversial new novel depicts a world where black people rule over white people. It's called, Vote Conservative...

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109

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welshman101

one year ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 107

A coworker told me this joke recently when I told him to "tell me a joke" What happens when you drink food colouring? You dye a little on the inside.

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107

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beanmister

5 years ago-Celebrities-The Royal Family-Post Rating : 107

‘Prince Harry will not join other royals for next month’s Remembrance Sunday service’ He’s not the only Prince they want to forget.

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107

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happychopper

5 years ago-Other-Thoughts-Post Rating : 107

I'm so into recycling, climate change activism and green initiatives that I... Washout my condoms to reuse and pick up dog shit with my bare hands. I'm that dedicated... I don't even have a dog or a girlfriend. Nod to HetPaard.

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107

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437lulz

one year ago-Politics-Conservative-Post Rating : 106

Looks like the Tories have found that massive black hole they were missing

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Freshly Dug from the Graveyard

Dominic Sloppyslai

beanflicker

2 hours ago

The first Barbie doll with Autism has just been released. Personally , I blame the MMR vaccine.

funboy3

8 hours ago

A brand-new teacher noticed that the kids kept teasing one boy, calling him “Mikey the Moron.” During recess, the teacher asked why. One of the boys said, “Because he is a moron! Watch this…” He held out a large 50-cent coin and a smaller one-dollar coin. Mikey looked at both and—just like the kids expected—took the 50-cent piece. Later, the teacher pulled Mikey aside and gently said, “Mikey, the 50-cent coin may be bigger, but the one-dollar coin is worth more. You understand that, right?” Mikey sighed and replied, “Of course I understand that, sir.” “Then why do you always choose the 50-cent coin?” the teacher asked. Mikey grinned and said, “Because the day I take the dollar… is the day they stop giving me money.”

rahul

9 hours ago

What's the difference between diarrhoea and a turd? You can't gargle with a turd.

johnnysins

11 hours ago

A young couple were driving home one night. As they came around a curve, they ran over a mother skunk. The woman saw a baby skunk crying on the side of the road and demanded her boyfriend stop. Taking the baby home, it started shivering. The woman said, "It's cold. What do I do?" The man replied, "Put it down between your legs and warm it up." The lady then asked, "What about the smell?" The man replied, "I guess it'll just hold it's little nose!"

rory

11 hours ago

Fresh Hell's Feedback (Comments)

mandylost took advice from her wife to put it in drive which is how come she got blown away

1 hours ago - View Post

secretsiteagent More like the tread from their tyres

2 hours ago - View Post

beanflicker Fkn class 👏

6 hours ago - View Post

scorpiox666 Road Rash ?

22 hours ago - View Post

gmax FFS, can't any cunt come up with something newer than the ancient shit being reposted time and time again.

yesterday - View Post

dogsbody14 The 1960s rang....can they have they're joke back,ffs!

yesterday - View Post

Comedy Kill Count (Leaderboard)

sphinctered

Rank : 1 | Score : 52.20

ponga

Rank : 2 | Score : 32.34

rory

Rank : 3 | Score : 25.90

redneon

Rank : 4 | Score : 19.50

hadoken

Rank : 5 | Score : 16.40