Sickipedia

I was working in my shop when the cashier called me over. He said, "These two guys came in and tried to give me some fake fifty pound notes." "What did they look like?" I asked. He said, "Fifty pound notes."

A lot of people think that crop circles are caused by aliens spacecraft, but I think they are done by cereal killers.

INFORMATION: To all regular users. Don't let JohnNewcastle (John Percival) fuck this site up like he is trying to do. He has a problem now as we know his tactics and shit. carry on posting, don't let this arrogant deluded fool drive you away. We will soon be able to delete accounts, we can spot his 10 new accounts a day easily. Fuck him, we don't want him, we will not let him fuck us about. PLEASE VOTE THIS UP SO IT CAN BE SEEN BY EVERY USER, USE YOUR APP FACILITY, THIS NEEDS TO BE SEEN. Just to prove how deluded he is, he has voted this post up at least six times with banned accounts. JohnNewcastle, Bigballs, Pudwas, to name three of them. What kind of prick does this shit?

Mayor of Liverpool says his brother has died of Coronavirus. Council representatives and community leaders in emergency meeting to decide who to blame.

Muhammad walks into a bar...

Breaking news another McCann dead on the Iberian peninsula

I've heard from a reliable source that there is more bacteria on my kitchen work surfaces than there is on my toilet seat. Note to self: Stop shitting in the sink.

I described my feminist daughter as, "Just imagine if Greta Thunberg somehow instantly gained 275 lbs, and also grew a wispy moustache." According to the police though, I'm making a compelete mockery of the missing-persons report.

‘Big Brother is watching you‘, a famous quote from George Orwell’s Nineteen Eight-Four. A book in which he predicted the mass surveillance of British citizens,. What he didn’t foretell was that it would be us buying the cameras and that our biggest phobia would not be rats but that nobody would be watching us !

If lawyers are disbarred and priests are defrocked, then: Electricians are delighted Corpses are decrypted Cowboys are deranged Models are deposed Underwear models are debriefed Dry cleaners are depressed, decreased and depleted Jilted women are debrided HVAC technicians are deducted Tennis linemen are defaulted Florists are deflowered Students are detested Hostels are debunked Spies are debugged and detailed Corporations are deformed and delimited Celibate people are delayed Chauffeurs are derided Record keepers are described Plumbers are dethroned Clerks are defiled Traffic cops are defined Naturists are denuded Election officials are devoted Accountants are decertified Builders are deconstructed Confused people are demystified Intelligence officials are declassified Interpretors for the deaf are designed Road builders are degraded Waiters are deserved Horses put out to stud are desired Castles are demoted Organ donors are delivered Anything certain is depending And if you found this funny, you're probably demented, defective and in denial.