Sickipedia

"I grew up in a proud two-income family," said the paki MP, after I heavily insinuated that he didn't belong here. "My father collected both benefits and housing allowance."

An American boy is sitting in a school library assiduously studying Hebrew when he starts getting mocked by his peers. When they ask why he needs to do this, he responds, "When I go to Heaven, I can speak with Moses and Abraham in their own language." "What if you's goes to Hell ?" "I already talk American."

Once when we went to France, we went out of our way and changed our itinerary when my wife got excited hearing about "The Burghers of Calais." 5 different Burger Kings she stormed in the area that day.

My wife thought it would be fun to "role play from anyone in history" in the bedroom. "Great, you be Leon Trotsky," I said, just before I took an ice pick to the back of her fat fucking head.

Just before my grandmother died, she sobbed about being raped as in 1942 she was a nurse in Malaysia. "Those little Japs' cocks were so fucking tiny I didn't even get off !" she sobbed.

My wife's three defining features are her morbid obesity, she's a huge Beatles fan, and she's incontinent One can say that she gets by with a little help from Depends.

I lost it when I heard they were going to remake Sylvester Stalonne's iconic character of a Vietnam-veteran with PTSD with a useless black guy. Sambo

In "Diversity Training," a girl with tye-dye and braids 35 years younger than me charged that because of my skin coulour and station that I'm undeservedly "getting to do whatever I want in this country." Later I proved it to her by pinning her down in the parking garage and entering her from behind with four inches of my White Privilege.

"I hope it doesn't bother you to have an LGBTQ dentist, Mr. Davies," said my new practitioner. "Not unless you care if I call you the Tooth Fairy.'

They made Brokeback Mountain required viewing at work in "diversity training," and two of the Welsh guys were none too impressed. "Why are these two idiots bumming each other, when they have that whole fucking hillside filled with sheep to choose from ?"