Sickipedia

As things came to blows in the bar after my wife got insulted as bald, she was upset even though I quickly broke a glass bottle to defend her honour.... "It's because you broke it over my fucking head," she moaned.

I went to the MacDonalds and I somehow saw the saddest thing I've ever seen in my life of a young lady in a corner booth stuffing her face with cheeseburgers. Somehow overtaken by the scene, I approached her and said, "What are you doing to yourself ?"..... i was even more taken aback when she replied, "I want to be a Wasp's wife impersonator."

They asked Kamelface Harris if she'd try and be President in 2028.... "Probably not, my days of only sucking cock to get anywhere have long since passed by."

I asked my homo son for the umpteenth time, "How's the job hunt going ?" "Not well, I've let 6 West End theatre managers bang me up the arse and still no luck."

Mi6 spent quite a bit of money training a spy to go to Russia, that the instant she got there and started asking some awkward questions about a nuclear facility, this old Russian lady goes, "You spy !".... The western agent replied, "I no spy, I speak Russian, do all the dances, drink vodka".... "I don't care, you spy.".... "What makes you think I'm spy ?".... "There are no black women in central Russia."

I was recommended a video that I think at least was meant to be "Anti-Trump" - Republican Jesus vs Democrat Jesus. Republican Jesus won't give any Americans health care.... Democrat Jesus will give everyone health-care, but have everyone forcibly strapped down to the hospital beds for forced vaccinations and sex-changes.

As a police officer, I loved our gay and Trans civil-rights heroes. That's why I always grabbed my baton and brass knuckles, to make even more gay and Trans civil-rights heroes.

My son once came to me and told me he had been touched-up by one of his male teachers..... "It's all right, I still love you," I said, "but only in kind of a weird distant platonic way from now on...."

When my homo son was 14, he got his right ear pierced. My wife, worried, asked, "Does this piercing let the world know that you are gay ?".... "No," the little queer replied, "it's all the sucking cock I do, taking it up the arse, and dressing like a woman that lets the world know that I am gay."

I went to my cannibal reunion and this other bloke there was telling me how he had a pregnant woman but didn't know it until the last..... "It was basically a Kinder Surprise".