Sickipedia

My 5 year old son said he wanted a treehouse in the back garden... ...20 years growing a tree and now he doesn't want it anymore...ungrateful cunt!

I failed my python breeding class because of a late assignment. My homework ate my dog...

I was extremely distressed when I saw a Liverpudlian dressed as Adolf Hitler in my local supermarket at the checkout yesterday. I've never seen a Scouser pay for anything...

My wife is sick of my obsession with 80's music and has threatened to leave me. "Oh come on Eileen" I protested....

They've now named the documentary being filmed about Al Noor mosque... ...it's called 'Cold feet'...

I met this sexy girl in a club last week and told her she reminded me of my little toe... Why because I am small and cute? she replied No I said cause I am gonna bang you on my coffee table later!

I see Bin Laden's son has been killed in Afghanistan... ...that's strange...where I live people wait 'til wednesday before they take a brown Bin out!

Wouldn't it be ironic one day if Everton were on Sky Sports and got hammered and Thierry Henry said "Who ate all the toffees".

I can't believe this girl I've fancied for years spoke to me today, it was in asda..... I said "Hello" to her, she replied "Do you need any bags?"

The bastard is dead ye ha! 😂