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My wife's a florist but her business isn't doing well. So I ran a five year old kid over outside her shop.
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I always buy free range chicken. It makes me feel so much better that they have a nice life running about in the fresh air. Before they're hung upside down, electrocuted and have their throats cut.
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I wouldn't say I was a coward, but I deserted from the Salvation Army.
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I hate Nigel Farage so much, I've moved to Clacton to avoid him. The news quiz.
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Rory Kinnear. He's not deaf
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My car failed it's mot. It needs work on the suspension, brakes steering and bodywork. I said to the mechanic "do you do shocks?" he said "yeah, it will be about 3 grand to get it back on the road"
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Study shows wankng 21 times a month can reduce the risk of prostate cancer. That's all very well but I've got 15 to go and this school bus won't drive itself.
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Black history month. Outside of Africa, fucking pointless
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Dear right wing protesters, may I suggest you stick solely to the cross of St George not the union Jack, as nobody notices when you've got it upside down.
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I never ever thought I'd say this, but I'm starting to miss the competence of the Tories
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Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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Jokes must be in text format, no emojis or linking allowed.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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If you post a NSFW image as meme, it must be tagged as NSFW.
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Do not repost from all time top list.
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Metaposts are not allowed. If you've something to ask then please go to forum.
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No posting personal information.
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Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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Meta posts are not allowed, however you can contact admin or a moderator.
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Promoting false information
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