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Never go out for a walk in the rain in bell bottom trousers. I did and now they're ringing.
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I fucking told the gagrge I worked at I had a nut allergy. But they still sacked me when all the wheels fell off.
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The price of grooming products is getting ridiculous, 70p for a small tube of Smarties!
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I've lost loads of weight just by wearing bread on my head. It's a loaf hat diet. I have TWO coats on.........
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"is it a bird?" no, but it will be after the operation.
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Watching the Coca-Cola Christmas truck commercial, it suddenly struck me that everyone in it is white. But then you can't see inside the back of the trucks.
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Three men stabbed in attack on Formby beach. "Turned out knife again"
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I live in Southend. The status of "city" is a worthy one but only the way Sean Connery would pronounce it.
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I never thought I'd say I missed the competency of Boris Johnson.
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I've just bought a log burner. It's useless, it's so much easier to flush the things.
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Guidelines, Information and Rules
Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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Jokes must be in text format, no emojis or linking allowed.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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If you post a NSFW image as meme, it must be tagged as NSFW.
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Do not repost from all time top list.
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Metaposts are not allowed. If you've something to ask then please go to forum.
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No posting personal information.
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Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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Meta posts are not allowed, however you can contact admin or a moderator.
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Promoting false information
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