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My wife's a florist but her business isn't doing well. So I ran a five year old kid over outside her shop.
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I went to the doctor as my hair was falling out. I said "do you have anything to keep it in? He gave me a plastic bag Credit Tommy Cooper probably.
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Bird flew claims 179 in Korea
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I always buy free range chicken. It makes me feel so much better that they have a nice life running about in the fresh air. Before they're hung upside down, electrocuted and have their throats cut.
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I wouldn't say I was a coward, but I deserted from the Salvation Army.
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Whenever I see a nigger walking towards me I immediately check my wallet. Then I realize, you can't buy them any more. Credit, some cunt on Facebook
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I shoved a camera up my arse for a laugh, now I've got Polaroids
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Following the death of a seven year old girl in tree accident, special branch are investigating. No YEW fuck off.
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How clean is your hearse?
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I'm sick and tired of Kareoke night in my local. If I wanted to hear some pissed up 70 year old belting out Bonnie Tyler songs, I'd just go to a Bonnie Tyler concert.
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