Sickipedia

What’s with all the interracial couples on tv these days ? Reminds me of my Dads cock , I know it exists but I don’t want it rammed down my throat everyday !

How do you regulate the speed of a sheep ? With every update slow the phones central processing unit (CPU) , until forced to buy the latest I Phone.

For Xmas I got a great self help book, I think it’s going to do wonders for my sex life , it’s titled ‘ Men’s guide to getting Tits and Pussy whenever you want it’ by Caitlyn Jenner

One night little Johnny has a nightmare so sneaks into his parents room only to find them having sex. The next day at breakfast Johnny asks his dad what they was doing last night , very embarrassed the Dad tells Johnny that him and his mummy were making cakes. A few days go by then again at breakfast little Johnny turns to his Dad and says ‘you and mummy were making cakes again last night , I licked the icing off the sheets’

That moment Eileen realised the true meaning of Bukkake at the Dexy’s Midnight Runners back stage party ...

Went to get a McDonalds breakfast but the doors were still closed at 11am, after waiting a while a spotty faced teen slowly walked over and unlocked. As I had missed breakfast I ordered a Big Mac meal with a coke , served by the same teen, when my order came it was a Happy Meal with a orange juice. At this point I asked to speak to the manager to make a complaint about him , he apologised lots and said ‘sorry about Sickipedia he’s new’ . Why do you call him Sickipedia I asked, the manager explained ‘it’s because he’s very slow to open and has constant server errors’

My neighbour Muhammad never goes to the mosque , he doesn’t fast at Ramadan, he drinks , he smokes and eats bacon. Does this make him a Shiite Muslim ?

I thought to myself this gender fluid shit has gone too far, as I watched airport security officer Big Dave strip search my wife with a hard on poking under his dress ...

My neighbour Mohammed once told me those who don’t believe in god need to be more open to faith . He never believed at first until he boarded a packed train with no seats , he closed his eyes and began to pray really loudly for a seat , when he opened his eyes the carriage was empty , he had a choice of seats and even a seat for his backpack!

Just left my wife of 20 years for a Thai bride , I’m going through a Robbie Williams crisis , I’m Loving Asians Instead ....