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sausagehead

Member since 3 years ago

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Size does matter. The smaller the hole, the better.

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My mate hung himself in a modern art gallery. It was 3 weeks before anyone noticed.

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I could hear my wife say, "I know you're there, pick up the phone." I hate visiting day in prison.

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My son is quite proud of his gayness and doesn't miss an opportunity to let me know. He just loves to hammer it home.

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I raped and beat an identical twin from our street when she were younger. She's not been the same since.

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I have to wear high heels everytime I'm changing the light bulbs in the house. Either that or my wife would have accused me of cheating after she found them under the bed.

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Will Smith's marriage is open to everything. Apart from jokes.

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Mike Tyson has been annouced as the host of next years Oscar Ceremony.

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The nurse said, "I can see the head now, push, push." So typical of my wife to get stuck in the MRI machine.

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Me and my soon to be ex-wife are getting on surprisingly well at the moment. Maybe that'll change when I tell her she's soon to be my ex-wife.

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