Sickipedia

Maria Corina Machado didn’t give Trump her Nobel for peace. She gave it to him to stop the flat knock-knock jokes. A real No-bell-end surprise.

What did the police find when they dusted Chris Rock’s face? Fresh prints.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and a homely brunette... ...are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek. The brunette thinks 'I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert.' The blonde thinks 'I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the dowdy brunette for me and she slapped the beast.' The Frenchman thinks 'I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake.' The Englishman thinks 'I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again.'

Now that Bill and Melinda Gates are getting divorced... She will be his Xbox

Wow, this weekend my friend's husband and his friends were furious at me for saying his wife was an idiot for not getting the COVID vaccine. I suppose the funeral wasn’t the right place to say it though...

I was dismayed this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn't actually mine. She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.

I paid a transgender woman to have sex with me today. Best transaction ever

Pissed off to learn Irish Loyalist Paramilitary leader & murderer, Gary Haggarty is still alive. I say, "Death to all Fanatics!"...

Forecast for Washington DC today... minus 45

What can you say during sex that you can also say at an insurrection? "Wait, let's film ourselves doing this..."