Sickipedia

Sarah Ferguson can no longer refer to herself as the Duchess of York. She has to return to her original title, 'The Hampshire Slapper'.

Prince Andrew told Virginia Giuffre, "My daughters are a little younger than you are", before having sex. "So I expect you to be more experienced", he added.

Taliban cuts off internet to prevent immorality - leaving Afghanistan cut off from the world. Gives them more time to fuck their 6-year-old wives.

I was buying my 4th house, and before I paid my property tax, I asked if the Rayner deal was still available. The bloke said, I'll ask you a few questions and we'll see if you qualify.... "Have you created trust funds for all your children to reduce your tax? Is everything in your Wife's name? Do you have a bank account in a tax-free haven?" Yes, yes and yes, I replied. Thank you, sir - nothing to pay today.

Sadiq Khan brands Trump 'Islamophobic' after the US President trashed his 'terrible' record at the UN and claimed capital risks 'Sharia law'. Khan says Trump should receive 60 lashes of the whip.

Besotted Oscar Pistorius's new life with his heiress lover. She hasn't taken a shit for three months.

Ah, beautiful Venice. Such a wonderful place to receive your final blowjob.

After analysing Hitler's DNA, it was discovered that the dictator had Kallmann Syndrome, which affects the development of sexual organs, creates low testosterone, causes abnormal genital development and a lack of a sense of smell. Oh. And yes. A burning desire to kill Jews

Sir Tony Blair has briefed Donald Trump on how to rebuild Gaza when the war ends. Flammable cladding, it is.

Trump suggests the broken UN escalator could have gravely injured him as he demands the culprits behind 'sabotage' be arrested. It's that kind of bravery that nearly got you drafted.